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ADHD, Menopause and Me

ADHD, Menopause and Me

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  • Neurodiversity
  • Menopause
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ADHD

  • ASC
  • ADHD
  • Menopause
Menopause Symptom Checklist
Does it feel like you are failing at the holidays? Does it feel like you are failing at the holidays?! It’s tough when it falls to you, when you are trying to be everything to everyone but the structure has gone and the occasional moments to yourself have also gone. I’m currently wondering how the hell I’ll get through this, especially as we are still in a building site and have no holiday planned for the summer to break it up! Term-time routine does more than get everyone out the door on time. It regulates. Specific wake times, specific expectations, specific transitions, all of it helps to quietly hold the whole family’s regulation together without anyone realising. Summer holidays take that away overnight, replacing it with unstructured time, more noise, more decisions, and more of you needed in every direction at once, and of course, week one feels like free-fall; certainly was in our household. It’s an adjustment period; well, I bloody well hope that’s all it was! A recent UK survey found 59% of parents say summer holidays are the hardest time of year for families, harder than Christmas. So if you’ve spent this week snapping faster, crying in the car, or just staring into the fridge at 4 pm wondering what you’ll do for tea and if it’s too early for a glass of wine, then welcome! This week I’ve laughed, cried, spoken to the police more than once, spent a small mortgage at Lidl and payday hasn’t even happened yet! I’m praying that it won’t feel like this in week three. It rarely does. We just have to survive the crappy transition period. I’m Fay; still building that new rhythm myself this week, and doing it honestly rather than pretending week one was fine. If this is you too, let me know in the comments; you’re definitely not the only one.
Nobody talks about what it’s like to parent thro Nobody talks about what it’s like to parent through perimenopause, especially if there is neurodivergence in the mix too! Not just the tiredness. Not just the brain fog. The bit where your emotional regulation is shot to pieces, and you’re also responsible for the emotional regulation of children too. The bit where the noise, the demands, the relentlessness of family life hits differently; when your nervous system is only one cup of lukewarm coffee away from a breakdown. The bit where you snap and immediately feel guilty. Where the patience you used to have just isn’t there in the same way, because it’s being shared between you, work, your kids and ageing parents. Where you’re grieving a version of yourself that felt more capable, while also trying to hold everything together. It’s not failure. It’s biology. And if you are neurodivergent, then it’s more likely to happen earlier, and symptoms felt deeper! You are working really bloody hard while your body is going through a significant hormonal shift. You deserve support, not just a higher bar. I’m Fay, and I’ve been doing this ‘mix’ of madness for almost a decade now, and talk about it all, honestly, not a rose-tinted Insta version. Hit follow, especially if you’re also neurodivergent, because that crossover between ND, perimenopause, and SEN parenting is a very specific kind of a lot… and I’m here for it!
Parenting neurodivergent kids when you’re neurod Parenting neurodivergent kids when you’re neurodivergent yourself is not twice the work. It’s a completely different ball game! There’s the part where you understand your child in a way other parents genuinely can’t, where their reactions make complete sense to you because you’ve felt them yourself. And there’s the part where their dysregulation triggers yours. Where the noise, the demands, the sensory chaos of a family morning can send your own nervous system into freefall before 8am. There’s also the guilt. The “am I the right person to be navigating this for them?” And the answer is always yes, by the way. Understanding it from the inside is not a disadvantage, even though it ain’t easy! I have three neurodivergent boys. I’m likely AuDHD myself. And most days we figure it out together, imperfectly, with a lot of lukewarm coffee and the occasional total meltdown from me. If this is your life too, follow along. You’ll fit right in 🤗
Why does nobody talk about the first week of the s Why does nobody talk about the first week of the summer holidays like it actually is? Or is it just me? Not the rose-tinted Instagram version: the perfect holiday, the picnics, the camping, the happy, regulated kids; but the bit where seven weeks of no school, no structure, no reliable rhythm hits you like a brick! The bit when you still have to work, your kids are too old for kids clubs and activities, but not old enough to get their own job. When they don’t want to stay in and play on screens, but be out and about on their bikes and adventures, but you live in a village with elderly residents who forget what it was like to be young once. The bit where your whole nervous system was quietly propped up by (albeit loose) term-time routine, and you didn’t even realise how much until it was gone. The bit where you’re meant to feel relaxed and instead you feel raw; touched out, talked out, and one question away from a meltdown before 10 am. It’s not that you’re not coping. It’s that having an ND kid brings a whole separate list of rules. Where boredom isn’t welcomed, because their brains don’t process the way neurotypical kids do, and they don’t have the executive function to reason between good choices and bad. Where they struggle to understand social ‘norms’ and friendships become a breeding ground for self-doubt and naivety. I’m Fay, and this first week has been a lot, if I’m honest, properly a lot. Hit my DM if you wanna know the full story. If you’re also sat here after week one wondering if you’ve got six more weeks in you, you are not alone. If you’re navigating ND, perimenopause, SEN parenting or any combination of that particular chaos, welcome! This is exactly the stuff I talk about, honestly. I’m literally one lukewarm coffee away from another meltdown...
Nobody talks about what it’s like to parent thro Nobody talks about what it’s like to parent through perimenopause, especially if there is neurodivergence in the mix too! Not just the tiredness. Not just the brain fog. The bit where your emotional regulation is compromised, and you’re also responsible for the emotional regulation of children too. The bit where the noise, the demands, the relentlessness of family life hits differently; when your nervous system is already one cup of coffee away from a breakdown. The bit where you snap and immediately feel guilty. Where the patience you used to have just isn’t there in the same way, because it’s being shared between you, your kids and ageing parents. Where you’re grieving a version of yourself that felt more capable, while also trying to hold everything together. It’s not failure. It’s biology. And if you are neurodivergent, then it’s more likely to happen earlier, and symptoms felt deeper! You are working really bloody hard while your body is going through a significant hormonal shift. You deserve support, not just a higher bar. I’m Fay, and I’ve been doing this ‘mix’ of madness for almost a decade now, and talk about it all, honestly, not a rose-tinted Insta version. Hit follow, especially if you’re also neurodivergent, because that crossover between ND, perimenopause, and SEN parenting is a very specific kind of a lot.
Parenting neurodivergent kids when you’re neurod Parenting neurodivergent kids when you’re neurodivergent yourself is not twice the work. It’s a completely different level! There’s the part where you understand your child in a way other parents genuinely can’t; where their reactions make complete sense to you because you’ve felt them yourself. And there’s the part where their dysregulation triggers yours. Where the noise, the demands, the sensory chaos of a family morning can send your own nervous system into freefall before 8am. There’s also the guilt. The “am I the right person to be navigating this for them?” The answer is yes, by the way! Understanding it from the inside is not a disadvantage. I have three neurodivergent boys. I’m likely AuDHD myself. And most days we figure it out together, imperfectly, with a lot of coffee and the regular meltdowns from me. If this is your life too, welcome! Hit follow. You’ll fit right in.

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