How Felicity was helped out of a dark day…

So it’s Mental Health Awareness Week in the UK and I’ve been listening to Radio 2 this week, each afternoon Jeremy Vine has been talking to someone with a different mental health illness each day, it’s been very insightful and great to hear it being talked about openly and honestly in the mainstream.

Funnily enough, this week hasn’t been a great one for me.  It started Tuesday when something small was niggling at me regarding an order, that I couldn’t sort and I was annoyed at myself for having to leave open like that.  Without thinking i went about the rest of my day, but it really was one of those days, things got on top of me, things didn’t go how i wanted them to and i didn’t achieve things i wanted to achieve that day.  I chalked it up to a bad day and went to sleep, but then Wednesday didn’t get much better and my mood gradually darkened, and as it did so did my day, again i chalked it up to another bad day and hope today would get better. As i went to bed tired and grumpy i misread something on FB, commented and went to sleep.  I woke to a bit of a telling off, now i was the first to hold up my hand and apologise but one person in particular wanted to make their feelings known and with my mood as it was I just took it completely to heart and it really upset me.  I could feel my mood darkening even more.  As i made my lunch at work i was just wishing the day to end, i took my boiling hot soup to my desk, sat down went to prize off the Tupperware lid sealed by the heat and proceeded to chuck the whole bowl over my lap and the floor.  The pain was unreal, i jumped up realising i needed to get the soup of me and so quickly wiped down my clothes – to proud to make a fuss, whilst my colleague helped me clear up my chair, the carpet and my desk.  Once we’d done i came home to change, i could feel my legs stinging and as i walked in the door i just burst into tears.

I actually starting asking God what had i done, what had i done this week that was so bad that i was being punished with a crap week and finally burning myself stupid…  I felt at a loss.  But i had to get back to work, so i quickly changed my clothes, looking at my bright red legs and went back to work.  By the time i’d got back my legs were stinging quite badly, so I reached out to a FB group i’m in and a particular member who i know is a Homeopath hoping she could advise me of something i could do to help immediately.  Two goods friends Devenia and Kathy immediately reached out with their sympathies and some initial suggestions (unfortunately now the boys are a little older i don’t carry Vaseline or Sudacrem in my bag anymore LOL) and then despite Michelle having being in the wars herself last week and still recovering, she replied telling me exactly what to do (and very politely ticking me off for not getting the homeopathic first aid kit she’d told us all about last week, lesson learnt, off to buy tomorrow!)  Interestingly though at this point having read some of my other comments about my week in general she happened to make an observation about how i needed to focus on the positive and that the negativity would just drag me further and further down.  Suddenly a light went off…

Earlier i couldn’t imagine why God would have let me burn myself, I couldn’t see where the lesson in that could possibly be.  But yet here it was, plain as day.  My negative mood that started from something so small on Tuesday had become a catch 22 (and this is exactly how depression takes control without you noticing) the lower my mood, the more i felt everything was against me, and the more i felt everything was against me the lower my mood got!  I had got myself into such a state by lunchtime today that it took something to make me LITERALLY jump out of it and shake it off to be able to receive advice and look at the situation for what it was.  Michelle really helped me today, i’m not even sure she knows just how much!  But i felt with it being Mental Health Week it was really appropriate to share what had happened to me this week and ask Michelle what suggestions she had for not only dealing with that type of situation, a bad day, a dark mood.

  1. Try and stop the bad days before they happen!  Each morning before you get out of bed or when you are in the shower, be mindful of everything you have, the roof over your head, the bed you had a good nights sleep in, your kids, your husband, hot running water, the breakfast you are about to eat etc. etc.
  2. Sit for 5 minutes and ask yourself ‘how do i want to feel today?’ Write down your intention and refer to it if you feel your day is not going the way you had asked.
  3. If you are having a bad day, stop, Take yourself off to a quiet spot and ask yourself why you are having a bad day. What’s really important is not to lay blame, this is a hard one but it is important to own the emotions you are feeling and the thoughts you are thinking as once you have acknowledged them it is easier to let them go, If you can write down any negative thoughts and feelings. You can even write a letter to the person that has annoyed you and then Michelle takes it outside, burns it and place the ashes on the earth for mother earth to transmute as she sees fit.  I did exactly this to my school bully, but i posted it to myself, the writing of it was so cathartic and by the time i’d received back i was able to rip it up and bin.  I’d said my piece…
  4. If you are able, mediate for 10 – 15 minutes just breathing in new calm energy and breathing out stress, frustration, anger whatever it is that you think is creating your bad day, and remind yourself of your intention for the day.

Look no matter what your beliefs are, you cannot deny that we all have bad days and that it would be a much better place if they didn’t happen or we could shrug them off a lot quicker.  Some of you know i have faith, but i’m not a big shouter about it, it’s very personal to me and i’m certainly not telling you all you need to, just explaining how my day went.
I really hope this has helped you guys and you’ll remember the steps the next time you feel you day going from bad to worse.  It’s certainly helped me to put everything in to perspective and even look at my initial issue with an order and come up with a solution.

However first on the list for me is to go and get a homeopathic first aid kit so i can get on with my painting without my legs stinging LOL!

Much love,

Fay x

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