New Year New Me

New Year New Me - Black and White Image of womens body with knees curled up to their stomach

So things have moved on a lot since I last wrote a personal post. I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions as such, but I do try and reflect on the past year and think about what I want and need to work on in the year going forward. So obviously the boys take precedence always. F is in his GCSE year and then off to Army College, and S is moving up to big school (and a change of school) in Sept. But I realised that actually I need to start looking after myself too, so this year it’s New Year, New Me!

Who comes first?

I have always struggled to put myself first. I think it’s a thing that a lot of mums find hard to do, especially while their children grow up. Even more so if they have a physical or mental health concern, disability, learning difference or anything else that makes their every day that little bit harder. Whilst I know logically that if I don’t look after myself then in the long run, I’m not helping my kids; it’s a lot easier said than done!

So I guess my goal for this year is to put myself first a little more. So how am I gonna do it I hear you ask? Okay so one person in the back there coughed, but I’ll take that as interest!


So the wonderful @TheSullivansLondon has put a challenge out there to not buy any clothes for the whole of 2023. I have thought about trying previously but just never quite committed. However, with the amount of weight I’ve gained in the last few years and also the amount of clothing I bought over lockdown, it’s the perfect time to start!

Body Confidence

So during perimenopause, I’ve really noticed the weight gain (lockdown didn’t help) and how it sits around my middle. I’m a huge fan of #BodyConfidence and love the whole movement. I think it’s so important for all of us to feel confident in our bodies, in whatever shape or form that is to us. Unfortunately, at the moment, I am not confident in my body at all, and it is really hard to look in the mirror and be happy with how I look. So for me, I need to get my confidence back, and that means trying to shift a little excess weight around my waist.

Another huge part of my perimenopause has been developing even more food intolerances/allergies which has really restricted my diet. I’ve let that slip for the last few months and need to get back to it, as that will reduce the bloating too!

Dopamine Hit

My ADHD brain loves to search for any dopamine hit it can get. ADHD brains have lower levels of dopamine compared to a Neurotypical brains. Not only that, but when we do get any dopamine, we tend to not have the ability to store it for as long, so are continually searching for the next ‘hit’. One way in which many ADHDers do this is to shop. It made so much sense when I began reading up on this, as I’ve always loved buying new things, have to wear them immediately and then after a few weeks I lose interest and start again.

Lockdown was a nightmare for me and I bought far too much. To the point that I literally have nowhere to store most of it. A lot of us ADHDers also suffer from object permanence disorder, where we literally forgot about something completely if we cannot see it. So clothes that I have stored in drawers and an end-of-bed trunk get forgotten about and I don’t wear, or worse still, buy a duplicate.

New Year New Me

So my whole logic is that as I lose the weight and the bloating reduces, then I will start to fit into clothes that I haven’t been able to get on. So it will be like having a whole new wardrobe, but without the cost?! Then I can store away (or donate to charity) the clothes that become too big, as I no longer need them. It should also save me an absolute fortune!

So here’s to #NoShoppingIn2023 and me becoming a little more confident in myself and discovering a whole new wardrobe that I already have. I’m not entirely convinced I can do this, but I’m gonna give it a damn good try!

Have you ever tried anything similar?! Would love to know. Plus any hints or tips or support on my socials would be hugely appreciated.

Fay x

Leave a Comment

  • Shaz says:

    I have so much stuff too and for the last couple of years not wearing due to lockdown and still not really going out. Most clothing now is comfortable leisure wear and trainers. Hopefully come the better weather will get to wear more of it

    • Fay Stephenson says:

      I think expectations of what we wear where too, have brought that about. No longer do we have to dress up as much, but I miss getting all dressed up for a night out, F x

  • Izzy says:

    Yeah! Go Fay! New wardrobe that you already have!👏👏👏

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