ADHD, a Colonoscopy and Me

So, many of you may have seen my recent Instagram post explaining that I had to undergo a colonoscopy after noticing blood in my poo. Despite the amazing work of Dame Deborah James, it is still a hushed subject. Something we’d rather ignore and are still too embarrassed to talk about. So, I thought I’d share my journey in the hope it helps!

I’ll admit that I first noticed blood in my poo probably about six months (maybe even nine) ago. I did what we would all probably do and ignored it. Found reasons why it would be there and generally just buried my head in the sand. But I have to say my lovely neighbour, who I miss a lot, died last year from bowel cancer, and along with Dame Deborah, I could hear her voice telling me to go get it checked. So I put on my big girl pants (literally) and went to see my GP.

The GP

After explaining my symptoms online, I got an appointment within the week (unheard of), and the GP was lovely. What I wasn’t quite prepared for at 8:30 am on a Monday was having to lay on my side, bring my knees up and have a finger up my bum! Always be prepared folks LOL. Nothing out of the ordinary was found. I was sent away with a poo test and told that 9 times out of 10 it is nothing. My overthinking, catastrophizing brain was already thinking the worst.

Poo test returned, I awaited the results. The first message I received from the GP was worrying. It said that I was being referred to investigate the bleeding, I began to panic. Just over an hour later I received a second message to say that the GP ‘misread’ my results and I may have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). I needed a second poo test called a FIT (Faecal Immunochemical Test) test before referral. A week later I got a generic text from the surgery to say I’d been referred to the ‘Hospital Specialist’. It didn’t say what for, so had to assume.

The Referral

Turned out it was a colonoscopy. The hospital phoned the very same day and I had an appointment booked for 10 days later. She tried to tell me all the information I needed, but my brain couldn’t take it in. I’d need to stop taking some of my meds. I’d need to follow a low-fibre diet for the week before. But most importantly, I needed to do some bowel prep (that’s a whole story in itself). Unfortunately, I was now thinking about how to pay off my debts before I died. And whether I should take out more life insurance before I got my diagnosis.

When I returned from my weekend in London with Mum and my sisters, I was greeted by a letter from the hospital with all the information. Thank god! I read it from cover to cover, got upset, cried a lot, and then made Sam a fish finger sandwich.

The Prep

Five days before you have a colonoscopy you have to eat a low-fibre diet. For me, this was difficult, as not only did a lot of the foods not agree with me, but also I couldn’t cope with having to ‘think’ about what to eat. It was too overwhelming. So, I did what most of us ADHDers do and I stuck to exactly the same things over the five days. Crumpets for breakfast/lunch. Chicken or Salmon with chips/potatoes for tea. My brain literally couldn’t cope with a ‘menu’ as suggested.

24 hrs before your procedure you have to stop eating. Then 3 hours later came the ‘bowel prep’. I was introduced to PLENVU. Those who have been through this will know exactly what I mean when I talk about this stuff. 500ml of prep, along with 500ml of clear fluids the night before and then the same again (with a slightly different solution) the morning of. Wow, this stuff is sweet. Initially, I thought it didn’t taste too bad, but boy by the end of it I was struggling not to throw it all back up. As you can imagine, it means you spend a lot of the time either on or near the loo.

Bless in my ignorance I had agreed to go to a hospital appointment with my mum that morning. Had to ask her to cancel that pretty quickly when I realised there was little chance of me leaving the downstairs loo, never mind the house. Finally, 2 hours before the procedure you have to stop all fluids too. To be fair it’s probably the only way you can get to the hospital LOL.

The Hospital

When I arrived at the hospital, bag in tow (slippers and dressing gown, which on the hottest day possibly wasn’t required!) I reduced the age in the waiting room by quite some margin. And I started to get myself in a bit of a tiz, I could feel the panic rising. I didn’t know what the procedure entailed, where I would be going, what would be happening. When you are someone who needs to know exactly what is happening, why and where, it is really unsettling. By the time I went for my pre-checks, I was in a full-blown panic attack and burst into tears. The reality was also hitting me. I could have cancer…

The nurse was amazing, she was so patient and talked me through everything. She made notes on my records about being very anxious and advised full sedation LOL. I was then led into a changing room and handed some very fetching navy paper shorts with a hole exactly where you’d imagine it might be for this procedure. A gown to wear over them and a shopping basket for my belongings. I then sat in the second waiting room grasping my shopping basket nervously on my lap.

The Colonoscopy

My name was called and I was led into the operating room/theatre (no idea what it was called). The nurses and doctors introduced themselves and asked me to assume the position on the bed. Knees up, bum out, getting used to this now! I started to panic again, the nurse very kindly reassured me and blotted my teary eyes.

I’m not gonna lie, it wasn’t pleasant. It wasn’t ‘sore’ as such, but at times pretty damn uncomfortable, which I guess is to be expected. What is quite fun is that you get distracted by being able to watch everything that is happening on the screen. Not that I knew what I was looking at, but if you are like that, it’s quite interesting.

The whole thing only took 30 mins I think and passed quickly. I knew by the end that they had found a polyp, and they told me it was too large to remove at this point. So, I also knew I’d have to go through the whole thing again to specifically remove it. They also told me there and then they found no tumours or signs of cancer.

Post-Colonoscopy

That first cup of tea in recovery tasted amazing, even out of a paper cup! I was able to text the OH to tell him he could come get me. A bit of a shock as we were told anywhere from 2 hours to 4, and this was just over an hour later. After about 10/15 mins was able to get dressed. I then had to wait in the waiting room till my OH arrived (you can’t drive if you have been sedated). And I was home for just after 5 pm.

The Results

For me, a huge part of my worry (like us all I guess) was the cancer possibility. So when I was told they didn’t find anything, I relaxed. However, the next morning when I re-read my results and googled to find out more (damn you hyperfocus), I probably made things worse again.

My FIT test score was 400 (I hadn’t seen this before), which apparently means I have an 85% chance of colon cancer. Also the larger the polyp, the higher the risk of cancer at a later date. Anything over 1cm is deemed high risk, mine is 2.5cm with a 3cm pedicle. I’m not out of the woods yet, but I’m so glad I went when I did. Once Peter has been removed (yes we gave him a name) I will have regular checks (yay for more bowel prep, not!) to keep an eye on my colon.

#CheckYourPoo

So please folks, don’t be embarrassed, and don’t bury your head. Check your poo regularly and if you find anything unusual then go get it checked out.

It could just save your life!

Fay x