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ADHD, Menopause and Me

ADHD, Menopause and Me

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TUI family holiday to Cape Verde: Honest review
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Neurodiversity: Some Basic Terms & Definitions
ADHD
Menopause
Me
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It’s been a warm ‘un! Today I decided that t It’s been a warm ‘un! 

Today I decided that the sensible thing to do was rebuild a part of the dry stone that had collapsed. To be fair it was completely in the shade when I started… 

Pictures in my stories!
Getting an ADHD diagnosis privately in the UK cost Getting an ADHD diagnosis privately in the UK costs between £500 and £1,500.

NHS waiting times in many areas run to four years or more. Five here in Yorkshire and seems to be increasing year on year. Right to Choose options are gaining longer waiting lists, or closing the waiting lists all together.

Which means that in 2026, whether a woman gets the diagnosis that could change her life often comes down to whether she can afford to pay for it. I certainly can’t. 

Hi, I’m Fay, a 51-year-old AuDHD menopausal SEN mum of 3, and I’ve been waiting four years so far. Tomorrow I’m writing about what that system costs women — not just financially, but in every other way that matters.

Blog goes live Sunday. Link in bio to subscribe 🧠
It’s been a fairly quiet week work wise, so lots It’s been a fairly quiet week work wise, so lots of time for me to notice things and get frustrated! 

Send help… 🫣🫣🫣🤪

I’m not very good at being patient (thank you ADHD brain) so these things are all beginning to annoy me a tad! Bit like me finding out this week that I’ll have to wait another year before I get my ADHD assessment, that’s a bloody pain too!
Four years. That’s how long I’ve been on the Four years.

That’s how long I’ve been on the ADHD assessment pathway. Four years of knowing, of reading, of recognising those descriptions of AuDHD as a mirror image of myself. Four years of putting myself last on the list, when I tell everyone else to prioritise themselves as much as their kids. Four years of time I could have saved if I had gone down the Right to Choose route straight away.

In those four years, I’ve navigated my three boys’ diagnoses, supported my youngest through almost 3 years of EBSA (emotionally based school avoidance) and an EHCP transfer, managed -kinda- perimenopause, moved house and started a renovation. And now, I’ve just found I’ve possibly got another year to go yet... 

I’m not writing this for sympathy. I’m writing it because I know I’m not alone — and because the women sitting in the same virtual waiting room deserve to have this said and the conversation to be had!

Sunday’s blog post is the full account. Everything I know about the system, the gender bias, and what it costs women to wait. Subscribe via the link in my bio or stories, and set a reminder to make sure you don’t miss Sunday’s article.
Women with ADHD are diagnosed, on average, 5 years Women with ADHD are diagnosed, on average, 5 years later than men.

Not because we have it less. Not because our symptoms are milder. Because the system was never built with us in mind.

I’ve been on the ADHD assessment pathway for four years. Four years of knowing something about the way my brain works, of recognising myself in every description of AuDHD I’ve ever read, of navigating a house renovation and three neurodivergent boys and perimenopause without the formal piece of paper that would change how the system treats me.

In that time, all three of my boys have received a diagnosis, my youngest is now on the ASC pathway, I’ve gained a @ipseacharity L3 SEND Law qualification and fought for 3 of those years to find him an educational setting that works for him. 

This Sunday I’m writing about what that costs — not just me, but every woman sitting in the same waiting room that never seems to get any shorter.

Swipe through for the five reasons the diagnosis gap exists. And if this is your story too — save this post and share it with someone who needs to see it.
It hasn’t come without its issues, but honestly It hasn’t come without its issues, but honestly this move has been fantastic for us as a neurodivergent family! 

Six months on from purchase, comment SIX to read the full update of where we are at!

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