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ADHD, Menopause and Me

ADHD, Menopause and Me

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  • Neurodiversity
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loneliness and mental health

Loneliness – You can feel lonely in a crowd full of people…

8th May 2022

“One thing I’ve learned is the difference between feeling alone and feeling lonely…”

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Coping with ADHD - Mother holding hand of her daughter.

If I’m being honest…

1st May 2022

Here’s to always being honest. Here’s to learning and never stopping.

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ADHD Coping Strategies

ADHD Coping Strategies

28th April 2022

5 ways to help your child develop ADHD Coping Strategies for school, University, and on into the workplace.

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How to go to your GP about perimenopause symptoms How to go to your GP about perimenopause symptoms and not leave with antidepressants and a pat on the head, from a woman almost 10 years in to perimenopause who took 3 years and seeing 3 different GPs to finally get my diagnosis! Write it down beforehand. Bullet points. Symptoms, duration, how they’re affecting your daily life. Doctors respond better to specific, documented information than to “I’ve just been feeling not right.” Use the word perimenopause. Not “hormones” or “mood.” Perimenopause. It signals that you’ve done research and you know what you’re asking about. Ask specifically about HRT. You don’t have to accept the first answer. NICE guidelines now recommend HRT as first-line treatment for most perimenopausal symptoms — knowing this going in makes a difference. Do not accept blood tests and coming back in a few weeks/months to see how you are, or antidepressants! Perimenopause should now be diagnosed in the first instance based on symptoms. If you’re dismissed, ask to see someone else. You are allowed to do that. I had to ask for a second and third opinion before finally being listened to. And if you’re also neurodivergent — take someone with you if you can, or write your points down even more carefully. Masking or people pleasing in medical appointments is real and it will get in the way of you being heard. I found it hard not to get emotional, my third appointment was a phone call which I normally hate, but actually the distance meant that actually I found it easier to calm and collect myself when I started to get teary. Save this. Share it with someone who needs it. You have found your community!
Doctors are only just realising the impact now of Doctors are only just realising the impact now of perimenopause (as well as puberty & post childbirth) on ADHD! It’s what we women have known for years, and finally we’re being heard… When did you first notice your ADHD really impacting your day to day, where it hadn’t before?
I thought diagnosis and HRT would help, but that w I thought diagnosis and HRT would help, but that was just the start of the journey. From someone who took 3 years to realise their symptoms were perimenopause. Someone who had to fight for another 3 years via 3 different GPs to get a diagnosis Someone who took a further 2 years to get the HRT dose/type correct Someone who’s enter a decade of being perimenopausal this year and still showing now signs of slowing down. Someone who’s been on the ADHD pathway for nearly 5 years now (keep forgetting and putting the kids first) I hear you, you are not alone, you have found your people!
Not “use a planner.” Not “just break it into Not “use a planner.” Not “just break it into smaller steps.” Things that actually help with AuDHD executive function. 1. Body doubling. Working alongside someone else — even on Zoom, even a stranger — dramatically reduces task paralysis for a lot of AuDHD brains. The presence of another person provides external regulation. 2. Temptation bundling. I’ve been doing this for years without realising why it worked so well! Pairing a task you avoid with something you genuinely enjoy. Music you love. A drink you only have while working. Not a reward after — during. 3. Time anchors, not time blocks. Instead of scheduling tasks to specific hours (which rarely works with an unpredictable nervous system), anchor them to things that already happen. “After morning coffee.” “Before the school run.” Reduces the planning overhead. None of these are ‘fixes’. None of them work every time. But they’re more useful than a colour-coded planner for a brain that ignores colour-coded planners. How many planners do you have?! Save this one. And follow for more — I cover AuDHD, perimenopause and SEN family life on here, and the ND content goes deeper over on the blog.
It took me 3 years to realise myself that I was in It took me 3 years to realise myself that I was in perimenopause. The symptoms I originally presented with were some of the more uncommon and could easily be misunderstood or put down to separate issues. It was only when I went down that rabbit hole, and researched fully that I realised they were all linked and it was menopause. Unfortunately the struggle didn’t stop there, as then spent another 3 years trying to convince the doctors that it was perimenopause. For late diagnosed women then it’s also known that not only do we experience symptoms for longer and harder; but we also tend to start perimenopause earlier too. I’m into my tenth year of peri now and after a few years of experimenting with different types and doses of HRT, we found that worked. But it certainly was life changing like some women report and I think that is because I never really had those common symptoms. It did help my night sweats, but not much else. I take supplements to help with other symptoms including the weight gain, digestive issues and insomnia, and also watch what I eat. I’d love to hear your stories, when did you get diagnosed or are you still fighting to be?! What were your first symptoms?! Drop a comment below.
Things nobody warned me about perimenopause: The Things nobody warned me about perimenopause: The rage. Specifically the rage. I knew about the sadness. I knew about the tears. But not the full, disproportionate fury at the washing up being left. At a can or bottle left on the worktop instead of in the recycling. At someone chewing/breathing too loudly in my general vicinity. Also: the joint pain. The tinnitus(what?). The brain that feels like it’s been wrapped in cotton wool. The complete inability to find words mid-sentence. The anxiety that appears from nowhere at 2am. The sleepless nights… And the way none of this gets taken seriously until you’ve sat in a GP surgery and basically refused to leave without a referral or demanded to get a second (third in my case) opinion! Perimenopause can start in your late 30s. It can last a decade. And the symptoms are wildly varied and frequently dismissed. You’re not imagining it. You’re not being dramatic. Follow if you want someone to talk about this honestly — and especially if you’re also neurodivergent, because the crossover is significant.

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